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Food Shopping: Consider the Alternative
by Marjorie Dorfman

Page 2

Last but not least is the trip home. Try a new way to get there (preferably in bad weather with or without your glasses depending on whether you need them or not). Do not, I repeat, do not attempt to put your groceries away unless you absolutely have to. Leave them lying about to trip over, misplace and in general forget about. This works well if you have a very small home but can be just as effective in a large living space where there are more areas to search. Both are wonderfully counter- productive and serve to feed the situation well.

If all of the above fails, consider bulk shopping. Places like Sam’s Club, Price Club and others offer mayhem at very reasonable prices. If I live alone, I can see that twenty-five pounds of flour for two dollars is a bargain, but where on earth will I store it? I suppose I could bake for all of my neighbors, but twenty-five pounds takes up a lot of space. No matter. I’ll buy two bags. Then I can bake for my neighbors for the rest of their lives! (Maybe even after they die.) It’s a bargain, just like the 5,000 pink and blue paper plates for three dollars. Surely there will be enough baby showers in my lifetime to warrant such a purchase right now rather than wait until I need them and they are nowhere to be found (like the police and some husbands). Twenty pounds of tea in a household of one where I don’t even drink it unless I am sick is too good a deal to pass up; not to mention the thirty pounds of dog food for four dollars, even though I do not own a dog.
food shopping bag
There seem to be no end to bargains and their justifications in our consumer oriented brains. All I can say is keep shopping. If nothing else, it’s better than being dead and not being able to take advantage of all those things that you will never use even once in your lifetime!

Sic Semper Food Shopping!

Did you know . . .

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humor food
"Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our cooks."
Lin Yutang
The Importance of Living, 1937

"Talk of Joy: there may be things better than beef stew and baked potatoes and home-made bread
. . . there may be."

David Grayson
Adventures in Contentment, 1907

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